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pappy97
New member
Username: pappy97
Post Number: 17
Registered: 06-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 01:22 pm: | 
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We live in a new state and went to a restaurant for the first time (a restaurant where the cost per person for food only ranges from $15-30). The server was female, very nice, GREAT service, and IMHO cute (Although most probably wouldn't think so).
Anyways my wife and I are eating at this place and we are done and she gives us the check, and I put my credit card in the sleeve and she takes it back and returns in a minute or so and does something I found odd.
When she puts the check and CC slip down on the table, she thanks us for coming and extends her hand out (only to me, not my wife) for a hand shake. I shook her hand, she smiled, and left us be, telling us there was no rush.
Was the server fishing for a tip? The thought crossed my mind that she was taking advantage of "kino." A "spark" people of the opposite sex feel, even from the slightest touch. We all know Hooters and the like take full advtanage of this, but this wasn't hooters at all. She may not have heard of the term "kino," but something tells me that this was on purpose. It had to have been because why else would you shake the hand of a male patron (and not his wife), especially after EATING a meal and I hadn't had a chance to wash my hands yet (ate with knife and fork, but there were some finger foods)??
Funny thing was that I'm the guy who started itipwell.com (First Class Service Card, you may recall threads here on it) and was already going to give her a huge tip. My wife even insisted when the check came (Well before the handshake). I was already thinking 30% for great service, and I gave $16.00 on a $50 tab.
No way would I stiff her because of the mere possibility that she was doing a last minute fish for tips, because tips are based on service was service was great,
but what do you think of this practice (handshake right before filling out the CC slip, from a female server only to me, not my wife which is a key point) at a place NOT named hooters??
Thanks.
(Message edited by pappy97 on December 28, 2009)
(Message edited by pappy97 on December 28, 2009)
(Message edited by pappy97 on December 28, 2009) |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3149
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, December 28, 2009 - 03:35 pm: |
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I *always* shake the hand of whomever I take the payment from and thank them for coming in, unless there's a reason why it might be intrusive. Sometimes it's before they sign the CC slip and sometimes it's after I remove the check presenter and as they're leaving (whichever seems the most natural).
Am I grassing for tips? Not really. I just think it's a professional conclusion to a commercial transaction.
Does it help with tips? I think it does, especially since not a lot of servers do it. I also use the person's name that I see on the credit card. Are these common sales techniques? Sure. There's nothing that a person likes more than the sound of their own name, especially when used by someone who doesn't know them personally. but that's incidental to my intent.
Do I do it only to build tips? Nah. I just think it's professional and friendly. It feels right to make that final personal connection with someone that I've spent the last two hours with.
Also, sometimes I shake both spouses hands when it seems appropriate. I don't do it if it seems forced, unnatural or draws unusual attention. I think I was able to shake both spouses hands on every one of my tables last night (I waited on 4 different couples).
People seem to appreciate it, although you never know what people are *really* thinking, as your post is a testament to. |
pappy97
New member
Username: pappy97
Post Number: 18
Registered: 06-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - 01:39 am: |
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I guess I see the reasons why people do it, I am just surprised that a server would want to shake hands with a customer if their hands are greasy (From food), dirty (for whatever), and in the age of H1N1 (Swine Flu), possibly filled with germs. |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3150
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 29, 2009 - 10:36 am: |
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Well, hopefully by the time they're finished, hopefully they've washed their hands, or least wiped them <g>. It's no different than shaking hands with people in public. I know that these days with swine flu and all that, some people shy away from doing that, so I understand the reluctance. But if you're (using the global you here) going to worry about that, what do you think about me holding your drink glass, or putting lemon wedges on your tea, or touching your silverwear with my bare hands? I'm not afraid of contact with the dining public because I'm constantly washing my hands, especially after picking up dirty plates from the table.
Besides, in our restaurant, we have hand sanitizer at each register and as you enter and leave the kitchen. I take advantage of them to an excessive degree in addition to washing my hands, because our touch screens are touched by 10 other servers every minute. I probably hit it up 10 or 15 times a night. But I'm not as bad as Howard Hughes.
What does worry me a little is when I see guests not wash their hands after going to the bathroom. It happens more than you might think. |
paid_up
Advanced Member
Username: paid_up
Post Number: 842
Registered: 01-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, January 04, 2010 - 08:57 am: |
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pappy97- Don't worry, their hands will be clean, they just want you to grease their hands. Fishing for tips, it sure is. |
kelly
Intermediate Member
Username: kelly
Post Number: 309
Registered: 05-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 17, 2010 - 01:38 pm: |
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There isn't anything wrong with the server offering to shake hands. I seriously doubt that anyone gets so big a thrill out of shaking someone's hand that it would increase a tip.
The only objection that I have is that I find it awkward to shake someone's hand if I am seated. I don't know why, but it always feels somewhat rude to me - so I always rise to my feet before shaking hands. |
brianguy
New member
Username: brianguy
Post Number: 3
Registered: 11-2009
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 - 12:41 am: |
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sounds tacky indeed. but I could see it being remotely appropriate in the right setting. |
gbowen99
Intermediate Member
Username: gbowen99
Post Number: 521
Registered: 06-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 02, 2010 - 04:42 pm: |
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"Was the server fishing for a tip?"
Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Yes, she was using tacky "kino" waitress tactics to raise her tip percentage. Kino is used as a type of body language to influence someones decision. For example a pretty sales woman will use a lot of kino to help close big deals. These woman are called closers in the business world. If you recognize someone using kino to help influence your decision here is how you counter them.
If they: Go to shake your hand.
Tell them: I don't know where your hands have been.
If they: Touch your arm/shoulder
Tell them: Hay don't touch me.
If they: Draw hearts/their name on the check
Tell them: There is some chicken scratch on my check. Print me a new one.
If they: Ask you how the food was.
Tell them: It was almost as good as (insert fast food chain here)
These at first seem like jerk moves, but they do counter kino very well. |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3158
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 02, 2010 - 08:40 pm: |
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You know, they don't just "seem" like jerk moves". They *are* jerk moves. Not surprising, of course.
PS, it's likely that, as many times as a server has to wash their hands during a shift, that they are a lot cleaner than *your* hands and it's they who are taking a big risk.
I'm glad that I no longer have to ask you how your food was though. That will save me a lot of time and keep me from having to hear you bitch about food was actually prepared properly but that you're too inexperienced to know about.
What I REALLY find funny is the use of the word "kino", which I only knew as the German word for movie theater, so I had to Google it.
Switching to Chandler from "Friends" voice:
"You took one of those "How To Seduce Women" courses, DIDN'T YOU"?
Oh man, is *that* priceless! A real kneeslapper!
And right in line with how you present yourself here. A faux "high roller" with a gold chain and a Chinese Rolex who confuses going on a cruise with "world traveling".
Shame that the "seduction seminar" doesn't work on forums and against people with a clue. |
paid_up
Advanced Member
Username: paid_up
Post Number: 846
Registered: 01-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 01:00 pm: |
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You have a clue? My, my maybe your self- righteous attitude, look down your nose, snobbish tone, know it all way of saying things just throws people off. A clue, NAWWW! |
kelly
Intermediate Member
Username: kelly
Post Number: 311
Registered: 05-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 12, 2010 - 08:12 pm: |
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I agree that servers will do things that they hope will increase their tip. When it is something along the lines of giving excellent service - I applaud (and tip for) their effort. When it is silly things drawing on my check - the easiest way to respond is simply to ignore it. |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3160
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 13, 2010 - 11:58 am: |
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That's fair enough. If you want to ignore a thank you written on a check, that's reasonable. If you want to ignore a happy face on a check, I say, more power to you. As far as shaking hands goes, I would hope that people wouldn't freak out about it. Some of us just treat it as the end of any personal protracted business transaction between two people. The fact that it might also increase a tip is just an added benefit. I happen to think that's it's a professional move. I've just taken $400 of your money. You deserve a handshake. Of course, I did this when I only took $40 of your money as well when i worked in a churn and burn restaurant. After all, we've been interacting with each other in a business relationship for an hour or two. |
kris
Member
Username: kris
Post Number: 208
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 - 09:38 am: |
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I would much prefer a slight bow and a thank you rather than a handshake. I don't feel it is a business transaction between me and the server. The "transaction" is with the restaurant as far as the bill. It's not like the server and I struck a deal/contract and were shaking on it. I think it's too personal a move. If I were a regular, it wouldn't make me as uncomfortable because they would be on the level of an acquaintance. I don't see the purpose in smilies, hearts, etc. on the check if you already thanked them in person. It seems kind of silly, juvenile, and a little presumptuous. It is a little grating, especially if the service was not that good.
I also don't like the squatters either. But that hasn't happened in quite a while. Hopefully, that trend has gone by the wayside. For a while there, every server seemed to be squatting by my table.
I had to look up Kino, too. Pappy brought it up first, though. |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3161
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 16, 2010 - 01:01 pm: |
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Once again, fair enough. To each his own. But I've personally found that people are usually pleased to be offered a handshake. If there's a small segment who feels as you do, I won't change to accomodate that small segment, just as I wouldn't change automatic refils of tea or coffee because a person like lords doesn't like it (not that I'm comparing you to her).
As to the business aspect, I am the agent of the restaurant, just like a car salesman is an agent of his dealership. It wasn't the idea that we were "shaking on the deal", which is something that you do in lieu of a contract, it's just something that one does when completing a deal. I recognize that this isn't a "deal" in a conventional sense, but it is a way of making the process more "professional", something that people talk about when it comes to complaints about restaurant service. Many people would like a more "professional" type of service from servers, and I think that's a great goal.
BTW, you're right about pappy using the term kino first. But he doesn't have the type of history of posting that gbowen has. He's talked about using sleazy tactics about tipping, clubbing and has, to the best of my recollection, even discussed the attractiveness of female servers, has bragged about his cruise experience, and just come across as someone who would buy into that whole "seduction course" thing. So that's why I made fun of it in his case and not pappys'. But to answer his question as to why she would shake his hand and not his wife, it's probably as simple as pappy being the one to pay the bill (if that was indeed the case). If the wife paid, then she should have shaken the wife's hand. |
kris
Member
Username: kris
Post Number: 209
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 17, 2010 - 04:22 pm: |
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If it ain't broke, don't fix what you're doing, teleburst. I'm saying how I feel about it. Most of it has to do with the level of familiarity and importance of transaction, if you will. Buying a car is a pretty big deal but I understand your analogy. I don't equate eating out to anything like that, though. You may get regulars in there, businessmen, too, that are used to operating on a business level most of the time. And I think the shaking hands is a sort of a guy to guy thing. My husband seems to shake hands a lot, though I don't recall with servers. But you work in finer dining so maybe it's called for. You are the best judge of what's appropriate for your place of employ. At Applebee's?, not so much, in my opinion.
Ah, yes, I remember gbowen's system of ensuring good service at the bars. What was it? A prorated gratuity? I believe it was kind of a fake-out. Sorry to say, I didn't take notes, as useful as he thought it was. |
philthetipjar
New member
Username: philthetipjar
Post Number: 1
Registered: 02-2010
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 01, 2010 - 01:43 pm: |
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Touching a customer is one of the common methods of trying to increase tips, but the server has to be able to read their customers.
A couple of times, a female waitress has rested her hand on my shoulder while addressing the table. My date at those times definitely noticed and stared at me. It made me uncomfortable and it did not make me want to tip any more than I would have.
However, I feel that servers are entitled to use little tricks like this to improve their tips, as long as they don't go overboard and as long as it is appropriate to the establishment. |
teleburst
Senior Member
Username: teleburst
Post Number: 3164
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 02, 2010 - 09:26 am: |
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I think the cross-sex thing is the important thing here. I would feel really uncomfortable touching the shoulder of a lady, except in the most casual way. I would never rest my hand on anyone's shoulder, especially a woman's. I'm not uncomfortable shaking her hand though. It's done in a business-like manner though - grasp, shake a couple of times and let go. No lingering fingertips, gentle caresses or laviscious squeezes <chuckle>.
I think that female servers might have to be more circumspect than male servers, unless they're working that awesome kino thing, Of course - then they roll the dice and take their chances. If it pays off more often than not, then so be it. |
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