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groupdiner
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Username: groupdiner

Post Number: 1
Registered: 08-2004

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Posted on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 04:48 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

My friend and I do not share the same ideas about how much to tip at a restaurant. I believe in tipping 20% for good service, and she tips 10-12% no matter what. I feel the need to make up the difference and I want the server to get what they deserve. What should I do? I'd rather not always ask for separate checks, esp.if she will still under-tip.
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scarlett
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Username: scarlett

Post Number: 277
Registered: 01-2003

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Posted on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:30 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Don't eat out with her.

If you contine to dine with her, you are left with the choice of making up the difference or making your server suffer. You could tell her that until she tips correctly you don't want to dine out with her the next time she suggests eating out.

Or go to McDonald's or another fast food place. That's about all you can do if you want to maintain the friendship.
~Imagine if they gave a war and nobody came!~
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scarlett
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Username: scarlett

Post Number: 278
Registered: 01-2003

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Posted on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 10:33 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Oh, BTW, I'm in a similar situation with my MIL and SIL. They refuse to ever leave more than 15% and yet they can be a bit demanding, and want extra service. Since I can't refuse to eat out with them, I just suruptiously leave more of a tip.
~Imagine if they gave a war and nobody came!~
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groupdiner
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Username: groupdiner

Post Number: 2
Registered: 08-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 09:59 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Yes, I understand. My friend can be a bit demanding and very critical as well. She also is quite the talker and a couple times we have "camped out" longer than I feel we should have(esp.with her low tip). I just need to be more direct with her.
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jammie
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Username: jammie

Post Number: 103
Registered: 06-2003

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Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 10:12 am:   Edit Post Print Post

Groupdiner, seems typical in my experience, that the most high maintainace guests are the ones that squeeze out the 15% or less.
After being direct about her tipping ethics, why dont you try a little gentle ribbing.
"okay, 20 % isnt too hard to figure out here, we are not splitting atoms."
"Lets chip in a couple extra bucks so little Tommy can get the corrective shoes."
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george
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Username: george

Post Number: 200
Registered: 05-2003

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Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 02:04 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

Why are you all trying to determine how much a customer should tip?

Federal laws clearly state that "A tip is a sum presented by a customer as a gift or gratuity in recognition of some service performed for him. It is to be distinguished from payment of a charge, if any, made for the service. Whether a tip is to be given, and its amount, are matters determined solely by the customer."

What is so hard about understanding that it is a matter solely determined by the customer as to how much he should tip and even if he should tip?
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teleburst
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Username: teleburst

Post Number: 518
Registered: 06-2003

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Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 02:39 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

"Why are you all trying to determine how much a customer should tip?

Federal laws clearly state that "A tip is a sum presented by a customer as a gift or gratuity in recognition of some service performed for him. It is to be distinguished from payment of a charge, if any, made for the service. Whether a tip is to be given, and its amount, are matters determined solely by the customer."

What is so hard about understanding that it is a matter solely determined by the customer as to how much he should tip and even if he should tip"?

Because, you big lug, we are talking about the behavior of friends. There's no federal law that says that you can't be a bigmouth obnoxious dickhead either, and yet, if we have a friend who is that way when we go out, we might ask for advice on how to deal with it.

Besides, federal law is incorrect in that a tip is *never* a gratuity or a gift. EVER. If it is, then I want about half of the taxes that I've paid over the last six years paid back to me, because ALL gifts from a single person to me up to $10,000 a year is TAX-FREE.
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scarlett
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Username: scarlett

Post Number: 279
Registered: 01-2003

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Posted on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 06:56 pm:   Edit Post Print Post

George, Groupdiner came to us for help and advise. She already knows what she feels is the right amount of tip for her particular situation, just as I do when I dine with my in laws. What she is trying to do is figure out a polite way to get her friend to ante up on her fair share without creating problems in the friendship.

I sure hope her luck is better than the luck I've had with my in-laws.

Jammie, what you said is so very true! Why is it that "high maintainence" guests are so often the ones who ask for the most and leave the least?
~Imagine if they gave a war and nobody came!~
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linda
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Username: linda

Post Number: 120
Registered: 02-2003

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Posted on Thursday, August 19, 2004 - 09:29 am:   Edit Post Print Post

When I eat out with a friend who I know tips on the low side...I just quickly offer to take care of the tip. That usually settles it. It may cost me alittle extra but I feel better knowing that the "tipped individual" is being treated fairly. My friend(s) usually don't refuse my offer. They know I'm a part-time server and respect my offer to pay the tip.

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